I remember when I was pregnant with my first born, how excited and nervous I was. I also, remember how everyone kept telling me how important it is to breastfeed and so I made it my mission to breastfeed my baby once she was born.
I have to say that sometimes things do not go as planned, and that’s exactly what happened to me. After one week of trying to breastfeed my newborn, I developed an infection and had to take anti-biotic for it. My milk supply dried up and there went my breastfeeding journey. I honestly felt sad and disappointed that I couldn’t continue to breastfeed my daughter. I felt like a failure, like I was not doing what society has implemented on every mother to do, I felt like I was not giving my daughter the best and most important milk of her life. Now I do not feel guilty about it, I just say “I didn’t breastfeed, so what?”
With my second pregnancy, I was determined to breastfeed my twins. I did not know how in the world I was suppose to breastfeed twins, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to. I needed to breastfeed the second time around, I needed to prove to society and to the motherhood community that I am pro breastfeeding. I needed to prove to myself that I could do this. Again, life got in the way big time, I suffered from Eclampsia and HELLP syndrome which left me in the ICU for a whole week without seeing my new born twins or my 4 year-old daughter. Again, I failed. Now I know it was not my fault, so now I just say ” I didn’t breastfeed, so what?”
I know that now a days more than ever, breastfeeding is the right thing to do, what you are supposed to do as a mother, breastfeeding is encouraged and is being embraced. Which is amazing and great in so many levels. Yes, breast milk is the best kind of milk that you can provide to your newborn, yes it is the best source of nutrition for a newborn, but know that not every mother will have that privilege to breastfeed. Not every mother wants to breastfeed whether it is because they simply do not want to, maybe the pain is too much to endeavor or they do not have enough milk supply to provide their baby with.
Either way it is not right to bring non-breast feeding mamas down, it’s not right to look down at them as if they did something wrong, it’s not right not to give them the same applause as a mother that breastfeeds. We should be applauded in standing our grounds to not breastfeed, to being honest with ourselves, to working with what best fits our lifestyle, feeling and situation. We shouldn’t feel ashamed or guilty because we didn’t breastfeed, we shouldn’t see thousands of articles, pictures, videos about how great a mother is because she is breastfeeding, and not how great all mothers are whether they choose to breastfeed or not.
I didn’t breastfeed, so what?
Does this makes me less of a woman?
no.
Does this makes me less of a mother?
no.
Does this mean I do not love my child?
no.
Am I a bad mother?
no.
Am I selfish?
no.
This only means that breastfeeding for me was not an option, I was unfortunately sick after both of my pregnancies that prevented me from doing so. I did what was right for me and my body. I did what worked for me and my children. I did what was meant for me to do and that was not to breastfeed.
I still am the same great mother that mothers who breastfeed are, I still provide my child with endless love and attention, I still take care of them, I play with them, I loose my mind because of them. I am a mother. Whether I breastfed or not.
My children are doing great thank you very much. They are happy and healthy kids (Thank God), they play and run like any child who was breastfed, my kids learn something new everyday and excel in their class work (my 6-year old first grader) and pretty much will be a successful person in the future, just like your child who was breastfed will be.
So, mommas out there who did not breastfeed their children, I got your back and I feel for you. Do not feel ashamed of saying it, do not feel guilty of not breastfeeding your child. Every woman is different, every mother is different, you have to do what is right for you, not what society or other moms say is the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter if you simply didn’t want to breastfeed, or if you had a medical condition (like me) you are and will continue to be a great mom to your children.
So keep your head up high and keep on with your life, breastfeeding is great but it’s not great for everyone . Breastfeeding mommas and non breastfeeding mommas, we are all great, we are all blessed and we are all trying to raise our kids the best way possible. Let’s embrace each other and lift each other up. Breastfeeding or not.
I didn’t breastfeed, so what?
*Spanish*
¿Soy una mala madre?
no.
¿Soy egoísta?
no.
Esto sólo significa que la lactancia materna para mí no era una opción, yo estaba por desgracia enferma después de mis dos embarazos que me impidieron hacerlo. Hice lo que era correcto para mí y mi cuerpo. Hice lo que funcionó para mí y mis hijos. Hice lo que estaba para mi hacer y que era no amamantar.
Yo todavía soy la misma gran madre que las madres que amamantan, todavía le doy a mis hijos infinito amor y atención, todavía me ocupo de ellos, juego con ellos, pierdo mi mente a causa de ellos. Soy una madre.Si di pecho o no.
Mis hijos están muy bien muchas gracias. Son niños felices y sanos (Gracias a Dios), juegan y corren como cualquier niño que fue amamantado, mis niños aprenden algo nuevo cada día y sobresalen en su trabajo de clase (mi hija de 6 años de edad, estudiante de primer grado) y prácticamente serán personas profesionales en el futuro, al igual que su hijo que fue amamantado.
Así, mamás por ahí que no amamantan a sus hijos, tengo sus espalda y siento por usted. No se sienta avergonzada de decirlo, no se sienta culpable de no amamantar a su hijo. Cada mujer es diferente, cada madre es diferente, tienes que hacer lo que es correcto para usted, no lo que la sociedad o otras mamás dicen que es lo correcto. No importa si usted simplemente no quiere amamantar, o si has tenido una condición médica (como yo) son y seguirán siendo una gran madre para sus hijos.
Así que mantener la cabeza en alto y seguir adelante con su vida, la lactancia materna es genial, pero no es genial para todos. Mamás que amamantan y mamás que no amamantan, somos todas bien, todas somos bendecidas y todas estamos tratando de criar a nuestros hijos de la mejor manera posible. Vamos a abrazarnos y levantarno una a otras. Lactancia materna o no.
Yo no amamante, ¿y qué?
