Hey mama, Pregnant or just had a baby? Either one, congratulations! Right about now, you are most likely absorbing every information you can get about being a mom. A first time mom to be exact. Wondering what are the first time mom advice that no one tells you? Well you are in the right place.
I mean doesn’t everyone just talk about how wonderful motherhood is, how easy you’ll get the hang of things and everything is just peaches and roses? Yup! My family also “lied” to me, ha! Well they somehow forgot to tell me the real gritty things about being a mom. The advice that you want to hear will always be given. But what about the ones you don’t want to hear?
It may sound negative, but these are all things that you should know about. These are things you should know about in order to have a better understanding of what will help you become a better mom and person. How you can survive your first year of motherhood. I’m here to give you the real first time mom advice that you need to hear!
First time mom advice no one tells you
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1.Do not listen to every advice
I get it, when you’re a new mom you feel like you have to soak in every single advice you are given. Even by strangers! Girl no, not every advice is good advice. You will have to be the judge of what advice you take in and which ones you toss in the garbage.
I know that most people come from a good place and heart when giving advice. But, it is up to you which one you want to listen to. Also do not get stressed and overwhelmed with every single tip and trick people are sharing with you. You will learn as you go.
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2. Do not try to please everyone
It is hard to try to please everyone specially when it comes to parenting or taking care of your newborn baby. So don’t please everyone or anybody. You are a mom now, you know what to do with your baby and that’s that. If you do not agree with a parenting advice or how someone does this or that. Don’t do it.
You may offend some people, but the reality of things is that you will never agree with everyone’s parenting style 100%. So, just be you and enjoy being a new mom.
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3. Not everyone will agree with your parenting style
Listen mama, not everyone will agree with how you are parenting your child. What clothes your baby has on, if you’re breastfeeding or not, if you’re co-sleeping or not. I mean, I can go on and on. The thing is, That you do not need to please those people.
You decide if you’re breastfeeding your baby or not, if you’re going to co-sleep or not and if you’re going to sleep train your baby or not. So don’t feel offended if you find that people do not agree 100% on how you do things as a mom. It’s your baby and family 🙂
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4. You know your baby and family best
Another first time mom advice no one tells you is that it’s all about you, your baby and your partner. You are a family unit now and only you know what’s best for you and them. Keep this in mind and be at peace with it. Learn to love the way that you are as a mom and don’t be apologetic about. Own it and be happy with it. You are going to live less stressed, and more happy.
5. Read books and listen to podcasts
Being a mom is about learning and making mistakes and learning from it again. One thing you can do is of course listen to the advice of your close family and friends. But, also read books or listen to podcasts about taking care of your baby, how to be a better mom and things like that. Learning is going to make you feel more confident in your motherhood journey.
6. You will learn as you go
Everything that you have read, seen or listened to about being a mom is very helpful in preparing you for motherhood. But, once you become a mother and you are holding your newborn baby is pretty much game on! You are going to learn as you go, you are going to make mistakes, cry, feel like you don’t know what to do. But, you will learn each day what works for you and your baby. Learning as you go is your best teacher. Experience is your best teacher. Making mistakes is your best teacher.
7. You will make mistakes
One of the first time mom advice no one tells you is that you will in fact make mistakes and that it’s okay. Why? Because being a parent does not come with a manual. It’s a trial and error type of thing. And, I don’t want you to feel like you have to be perfect and get everything right the first time. Because you will not mama and that’s totally fine.
You see all the instagram moms looking perfect, telling you about their perfect mom day? Not real! And also, they have also dealt with insecurities about motherhood and not feeling like a good mom. So, please mama do not feel less than or compare yourself to others. Feel blessed.
8. Being a new mom is hard
Being a new mama is hard, no doubt about it. Just think about it, you are leaving your “single” life behind and are embarking in this wonderful world called motherhood. Changes can be hard for many, specially new moms. Know that it will get better each day and that you will find the groove of things as time passes.
Reading the first time mom guide is going to help you transition to being a good first time mom. Knowing important things like creating a sleeping routine for baby, balancing work and baby life, taking care of yourself and more. Read it here!
9. You will cry often
Did anyone mention that you are going to find yourself crying? Yeah is one of those things that no one really wants you to know about. I mean it’s not a happy thing. But, it is a reality. I mean, even I cried a few times with my first born and then with my twin babies. Life seemed so hard and I needed a break, I needed to breathe and so many things that moms go through and feel.
It’s okay if you cry mama. If you feel like you need time for yourself. It’s okay if you feel like a failure. Because those are real tears that mean something. That even though being a mom is hard, you will persevere and will make it work.
10. Have an opened mind
Having an opened mind to being a mother is what’s going to help you become a better mom. If you can’t breastfeed, then have an opened mind to bottle feeding. If your baby can’t sleep through the night yet, then have an opened mind to getting some help. It’s all about not feeling guilty because you can’t do what you envisioned doing as a mom. But, how you cope with those obstacles. You got this mama!
Also, if you want to get the best chances at having a successful breastfeeding journey, check out milkology. It’s an online breastfeeding class given by a real lactation consultant. Click her to breastfeed like a pro!
11. Take it a day at a time
Alrighty mama, best advice I can give new moms? Take it a day at a time. If today wasn’t a good day, tomorrow will be. In order to “survive” your first year of being a mom is to be positive. To take it a day at a time and not sweat the small stuff. Better days are coming, I promise!
12. Your family is your support and rock
Your partner should be your number one supporter and shoulder to lean on. You are both doing this together, even though it may seem like you’re doing way more than he is. Which you probably are, let’s speak the truth here. But he is your family and you both created this beautiful angel that is your baby.
As long as you have your family, you have everything that you need to rock being a new mom. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your spouse/partner/boyfriend for help. You both are doing this together. Lean on each other!
I hope you found this advice helpful and I wish you the best mama. This is a bumpy but super wonderful journey you’re in. Enjoy it 🙂