Feeling like a failure as a parent? You are not alone mama. I work with moms and most of them have felt this way one time or another in their motherhood journey. Feeling like a failure as a mom is hard and it feels heavy doesn’t it?
I have to confess to you, that I have felt like a failure before. A long time ago when my kids were little.
My hubby and I could only afford a 1 bedroom apartment in New York City with three kids. I felt like I’ve failed because that was not the kind of life I wanted for them or for our family.
When i was a first time mom I was working and going to college all day and only saw my first born at night to put her to bed. I felt mom guilt and I thought “I have failed at being a mother, I can’t even take care of my own child”
What changed for me is what I am going to teach you. Every time you feel like a failure as a mom or parent, you can go back to this article.
Honestly, I don’t remember the last time that I have felt like a failure of a mom and I am so confident that I never will.
I am going to help you STOP feeling like a failure as a parent today…so that you can carry on the confidence and mindset you need to never get to that point ever again.
So here’s a shocker…
The failure feeling comes from a THOUGHT that your brain offered you and you took it as a fact. You ran with it and now you believe. You have it POWER to the thought of “I’m a failure” and you never questioned it ever again. It’s time to question the thought of “I’m a failure as a mom” and create positive more motivating thoughts about who you are a s a mother.
watch how to be a more positive mom video:
Why do I feel like such a failure as a mother?
For the most part you are putting unrealistic expectations on yourself and when you don’t live up to them, you feel guilt and feel not good enough as a mother. Perfectionism is taking over you and you may even feel like your child’s behavior and power struggles with them are a reflection of who you are as a person and mom. So you feel like a parenting failure.
What to do when you feel like you’ve failed as a mother?
- Change your thoughts about yourself and do not define who you are by your mistakes
- Give yourself love and grace
- Acknowledge your feelings and work towards the changes that you need to make
- Change your words from “I am a failure” to “I am learning as I go”. Feels lighter, more motivating and less harsh.
- Stop being so hard on yourself and know you are doing a great job as a mom
- Stop comparing yourself to other moms
How do you know if you are failing as a parent/mother?
- Little to no attention given to your children
- Shaming your children
- Little to no discipline
- Strict and harsh discipline
- Carrying your past traumas into your motherhood life
- Not allowing your children to open up about their feelings
- Neglecting your child’s needs and feelings
- Overprotective and overbearing as a parent
These are some ways and signs that you are not being the best parent. BUT, there will always be room for change, to get help like hiring a mom coach like me and room for growth. So that you can be a better mother and feel happier and more confident. I can help you. Book free consult call with me today!
Ready to stop feeling like a failure as a mom and terrible mother? End difficult days as a mom, have happier family life and enjoy your parenting journey more. Let’s go!
6 things to do to stop feeling like a failure as a mom
1.Change your mindset
Do not define every situation whether you fail or succeed as who you are as a person or mom. Instead look at it as a learning experience. Have compassion for yourself and the negative feelings and thoughts that you have about yourself. Next time your brain offers you “You are a failure” challenge that thought and create a positive thought about yourself, for example “I am learning how to stop my child’s tantrums, I wonder what I can do better next time”. There is no blaming or shaming yourself into believing that you have failed as a parent.
Instead you become curious and therefor you are able to find SOLUTIONS because you are open to figuring it out. When you say “I failed as a mother” You are closing the door to that situation and you kind of give up right?
In my course I teach you how to change your mindset, create positive beliefs about yourself so you can be happier and more positive mom. Click here to enroll today!
2.Create positive thoughts about yourself
When you are feeling like a failure as a mother, you start creating more reasons or experience that are proving to you that in fact you have failed at motherhood. So, you want to feed your brain with positive thoughts about yourself and find evidence that in fact you are a great mother and not a failure. The more you say you are a great mother, the more evidence you are going to find that supports that statement.
Instead of saying “I am a failure” which does not serve you in any way. Create thoughts that serve you in a positive way and will be motivation for you. But, also not dismissing the fact that maybe you have to change the way you do things.
- I am a great mother
- I am a happy mom
- I am the best mother to my children
- I am confident in my parenting skills
- I may make mistakes or things do not go as planned and that’s okay it doesn’t mean I am a failure
3. There is help for you
One of the things that many of us believe is that there is no help out there for us. That motherhood is hard and we just have to live with the fact. On the contrary, there are a lot of resources for you to change the way that you are and doing things, do things differently and feel better. You do not have to do life on your own. There are solutions to your struggles and the faster you can get help, the better and happier you will feel as a mom.
This is exactly what we work on in my 1:1 coaching program for moms. Learning to work on your mindset and shutting down your inner critic. Prioritizing yourself, loving who you are and being the mom that you want to be. Click here to start with a complimentary consult call with me!
read this next:
Journaling is so helpful in identifying the source of the reason why you feel like a failure. Journaling can help you notice patterns, behaviors and thoughts that you want to change in order to feel better as a mom. When journaling keep track of the things that you are doing right as a mom. To build self-confidence, self-love and self-worth.
I create the 365 days of motherhood joy guided journal for moms. It will help you love yourself more, work on yourself, feel happier and better and love motherhood. Purchase your guided mom journal here!
When journaling be sure to address your feelings and emotions about being a mother. Questions like:
- Where were you when you felt like a failure
- What were you doing? What were your kids doing?
- How did you handle that situation. How do you wish to handle it next time?
- What needs to change for you to stop believing that you are a failure?
Answer these questions and start on your journey of letting go of feeling like a failure as a mom and start feeling more confident.
5. Embody the type of mom who never feels like a failure
Close your eyes and envision being the type of mom who never feels like a failure as a parent or inadequate. Write down everything that you envision this type of mom doing. How does she act to stressful situation? When things don’t go her way, how does she feel about herself? What does she do in her everyday life? How dos she take care of herself etc. Now, start being the mom who is full of confidence, never feels like a failure and who is always willing to grow and learn so that she is the mom that she wants to be.
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6.Take care of yourself
Now mama, One thing I will always say to you is to always find the time to take care of yourself. Nobody else will and knowing your worth will help you create a habit of practicing self care everyday. When you are taking care of your own wants and needs you will become a more happier, patient, loving and present mom. Because your cup is full, full of love, gratitude, positivity and joy.
In my online course, I teach you how to find the time for self-care, how to practice self love, set boundaries and reclaim your joy! enroll in the course here!
I hope you found this post super helpful in how to stop feeling like a failure as a mom and start feeling more better and happier.
You are not alone and i do not want you to struggle at all. Motherhood can actually feel easy and fun and joyful.
Ready to change your life and feel 10x much happier and better? Book your free consult call with me today!
Can’t wait to meet you!