Another day. Another comparison trap.
I know you do it. I did it. We all have done it throughout our motherhood journey.
Comparing yourself to other moms.
I will show you how to stop comparing yourself to other moms, so that you can actually love your life more.
There you are sitting in the restaurant table with your kids and husband. Your children are screaming and crying because you won’t let them use their tablets or your phone.
You look around in embarrassment and see another mom handling her kids like a boss. I talking about, her kids eating their food with no technology and no screaming.
So you start to compare yourself to her and then feel like shit about it. “How in the world does she do it?” “what am I doing wrong?” “Her kids are better than mine”.
Can you relate? I know I can. I used to always compare myself to others and then feel like my life is not good enough, I’m not a good enough mom or wife and I was jealous.
But you know what changed?
Focusing on my life instead of paying attention to other moms lives.
Why do I compare yourself to other moms?
We compare ourselves to others because we want to know if we’re doing it right, or to seek validation that other moms are going through the same things as us. We compare ourselves to other moms because we want to see if we measure up to other moms or see where we’re at versus them.
Why comparing yourself is toxic?
Motherhood comparison is toxic because you are tying in your self worth and how you see yourself based on other moms. You may start to lose self esteem and confidence if you are “behind” or “not doing it right”. This may cause you to feel less than and start seeing your life as never good enough. It becomes a competition with other moms. Not healthy at all.
Negative effects on motherhood comparison:
- feeling not good enough
- becomes a competition to up other moms
- increase anxiety
- feel like others are better than you or have it “easy”. etc.
- overlook the good things that you have in your life.
Ready to stop the comparison trap and learn to ditch comparison in motherhood?
6 empowering tips to help you stop comparing yourself to other moms
1.Be honest with yourself
Here’s where you can give yourself an opportunity to be honest and raw with your feelings. Noticing your triggers of what’s causing you to compare yourself to other moms. What are you making it mean about yourself or about them? Get your favorite mom journal and write down your feelings, emotions and beliefs that you have about yourself and other moms. Now challenge those negative beliefs that you have about yourself.
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I love journaling my thoughts about anything that’s causing me to either feel joy or stress/sadness etc. Sit down in your favorite part of the house, get cozy and make a list of your thoughts. What I mean is to list the thoughts that you have when you are comparing yourself to another mom. Then write a list of thoughts that you have about that mom (good and bad). What are you noticing? What is your predominant thoughts about yourself and life? Are they more negative? Now, how can you challenge those negative thoughts and create positive thoughts instead.
When you journal you are able to change your mindset and life with just a piece of paper and a pen. I love to journal and release my emotions and feelings on paper. The best part is that you can literally journal about anything. Journal and write down your triggers that’s causing you to have motherhood comparison. You can also journal your mom wins to build confidence and self esteem as a mom. You feel so much better after you are able to write down your feelings.
4. Practice gratitude
One way to stop comparing yourself to other moms is to Practice gratitude. Is a great way for you to stay grounded and notice all the good things in life that you do have. You are focusing on the positive and not worrying about the negative and the things that you do not have and wished you did. When you practice gratitude as a mom, you are able to see yourself as a winner because you have everything that you need in this moment.
5. Focus on your life
The thing with comparing yourself that I have found to be true is that when you start putting your attention on other people’s lives and actions. You stop focusing on your own life and how you can do and feel better. So today, start focusing on yourself first. Find ways to do things that brings you joy and love. Read books and enroll in course that will help you be a better and happier mom. Never stop learning and always ask for help when you need it.
When you focus on your life and on yourself you are able to create a better life, happier life and a life full with purpose and love,. and that is what we really want right mama?
I can help you change your life with my private 1:1 coaching. Book your free consultation call to learn more and to work with me.
6.Focus on your strengths and wins
Come on mama, you have so much good in you and you are doing an amazing on that you can’t dismiss it or not find it valuable. So let’s celebrate your wins today and everyday. Imagine being able to be proud of yourself, to be able to focus on the things that you are doing right as a mom and to learn to have your own back? It feel amazing doesn’t? This will help you practice self love and not wait for others to validate you. Instead you validate yourself because you can!
I hope these tips has helped you stop comparing yourself to other moms and know that you are worthy and deserving of creating a life that you really want.